We can help - fast! Charges are reasonable and are based on the file space required - this can be divided into as many pages as you wish.
We are also pleased to design and maintain your Web Pages for you if required.
Please remember, however, that the overwhelming majority of your readers are likely to be using modem connexions via the telephone system and even when the access is good (usually at quiet times of the day, when America sleeps) there is nothing so exasperating as waiting for the screen to fill up with decorative stuff before any information content can be discerned.
A huge amount of text can be transmitted in the time that it takes for one typical picture. When 'a picture is worth a thousand words' some careful thought is needed when targeting your likely audience - will they cut you off before you deliver your message?
Finally, unless you really have a vested interest in a particular web browser, please don't tailor your pages so that they won't work with browsers from different manufacturers. After all, if the browser you favour is so great, why not explain that in a way that your readers can see?
Please E-mail your requirements to firstname.lastname@example.org
[End of document, updated to 23 May 1997 (amended)]